Newsbreaks for Tuesday

Audio version is here.

Text:
In a speech today to the US Central Command, President Bush said that “failure in Iraq is not an option.” Yeah, apparently it’s mandatory.

Once again, the State Department is calling Iran the world's leading state sponsor of terrorism. Iran dismissed the report, but does admit to buying a few brownies at a Hezbollah bake sale.

“So we sponsored them in a kickball tournament, so what?”

A new study says that polar sea ice is melting much faster than previously thought.
[picture of polar bear]
“If any of you come up here, I swear I am SO going to eat you.”

And finally, at Concordia College in Minnesota, about 200 students decided to celebrate their graduation by jumping naked into a nearby pond. Efforts to get the students out were unsuccessful—then one security officer had a bright idea: “Hey! There are leeches in there.”