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Thursday, May 3, 2007

Newsbreaks for Thursday




Audio version is here.

Pope Benedict XVI has written a new book which offers a harsh critique of capitalism. The critique costs $24.95 and is available in bookstores worldwide.

I know, that’s a cheap shot. After all, there’s no way to communicate to billions of people for free. [sigh] Maybe someday…

Officials are increasingly worried about America’s honey bees. Beekeepers have lost about 25% of their stock in the last few months, and no one knows why. “It’s very difficult to plan for something like this,” said a spokesman for the US Department of Agriculture. “Especially if Michael Crichton doesn’t write a book about it.”

We’ve suffered bee die-offs before, but this one is different. Instead of finding corpses of workers all around the colony, these bees seem to have disappeared. Okay: Who’s stealing our bees?

The GOP is holding its first debate tonight, with one question on everybody’s lips: “How can we blame Hilary for Iraq?”

No less than ten candidates will be there. Ten candidates! Did somebody outlaw golf?

1 comment:

  1. Oh c’mon Mike, everyone knows it is the bee version of the rapture and you know what that means, yes, all the bees that are left are atheists. Coming up next will be the bee Armageddon where bee civilization will descend into chaos. They will probably burn down their hives as only the beginning followed by looting the bee farmer’s farm house. This is all true exactly as I have stated it.

    I think someone should write to the pope about bee Armageddon.

    Have you ever noticed that Chrichton is anti-science? Scientists bring back dinosaurs that quickly go out of control in a rampage, kind of a dinosaur Armageddon. Then in his book Swarm he writes about nano-bots who, yes, you guessed it, quickly get out of control and we experience a nano-bot Armageddon. The theme always seems to be scientists who create something that always goes out of control and destroys us. It is the same theme used for the original Frankenstein monster. As you can see I like really bad novels. I admit freely.

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