Newsbreaks for Wednesday

Audio version is here.

A study out of Great Britain claims that finger-length can reliably predict a child’s future scores on the SAT. Coming soon: “Baby Einstein” brand finger-stretchers.

A joint American/Irish group of scientists have discovered that sharks can conceive and give birth without mating. “I was shocked by the findings,” said one researcher. “I remember yelling, ‘Jesus Christ!’”

Finally, a California man died yesterday after a golf cart he was driving veered out of control and plunged off a cliff. “We’re still figuring out exactly what happened,” said a police spokesman. “But one thing I can tell you is: A lot of old white guys just got religion.”