Newsbreaks for Tuesday

Audio version is here.

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A new study is warning that planting trees in far Northern latitudes could actually worsen global warming. As a result of this report, Al Gore has announced he plans to make a sequel to “Inconvenient Truth” called “Let’s Pave Scandinavia.”

An Ohio man wants the Governor of Florida to pardon rock singer Jim Morrison, who was arrested there back in 1969. The man said, “Last time I checked, it’s not a crime to write bad poetry.”

It’s a good thing. If it were, our prisons would be filled with teenaged girls. And nobody wants that except for Russ Meyer.

How about this? First, we find out who’s been wrongly convicted. Second, we deal with the War on Drugs. And then we can do nice things for dead guys.

Finally, Egypt is celebrating after the return of some tufts of hair from the Pharaoh Ramses the Second. The 3,200-year-old hair surfaced last year after a French postman tried to sell it on eBay. Which goes to show one thing: anything can be valuable if it’s old enough. Even pubes.