Newsbreaks for Thursday

Audio version is here.

Text:
Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice has rejected a Congressional subpoena regarding Saddam and WMD. "This is an issue that has been answered and answered and answered," Rice said. “I’m immoral, I’m irresponsible, and I’m an idiot.”

Rice says she respects the oversight role of the legislative branch, but it’s that special kind of respect usually reserved for a dog pooping on your lawn.

A new study shows that meth addicts living in rural areas begin using at a younger age, are more likely to use the drug intravenously and are more likely to be psychotic. Sure, these two look normal…

Stephen Hawking experienced a few seconds freed from his wheelchair today, as he rode in a jet that dives to give its passengers a sense of zero-gravity. The physicist is working on a book about the experience, “A Brief History of Booting All Over Myself.”

['bot voice: “Look out, dude! I’m totally going to hurl”]