Newsbreaks for Friday

Audio version is here.

Text:
This week animal rights activists tried to block a Rolling Stones concert planned for Belgrade’s main racetrack. They’re concerned it will scare the horses stabled there. An activist said, “A jockey told them all about Altamont.”

Eventually they reached a compromise: the concerts will go on, but the racehorses will be drugged. “Always works for me!”


A Stones concert, drugs…The more I read about this, the more I think: everybody in that stable is going to get laid.

A video circulating in Pakistan shows someone being beheaded by a 12-year-old jihadist. They’re calling the kid “Al-Qaeda’s Tiger Woods.”

And finally, AP reports that a mother and daughter in Ohio gave birth within minutes of each other. I must be ready for the weekend—when I read that I immediately thought: “Yuck, a pregnant fetus.”