Newsbreaks for Friday

Not as sacreligious as you'd expect.




Audio version is here.

Text:
The beach party may be over for the entrepreneur behind “Girls Gone Wild.” Joe Francis is facing a lawsuit which claims some of the women in his videos were underage. [whispers] And I think some of them might’ve been drunk, too.

Marathons are going high-tech. Special “timing mats” positioned along the course can now send automatic updates to your friends watching the race. You know, stuff like how long you’ve run, how much you have left, and how long it will be before you lose control of your bowels.

“Dude, I’m totally taking a picture.”

And finally, today being Good Friday, I’d like each one of you to take a moment and remember a great man on the anniversary of his death. Though he died a long time ago, this simple man from the humblest of beginnings, inspired so many people that his image and words still surround us today. I’m talking, of course, about Abraham Lincoln.