Newsbreaks for Thursday

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One day after the shooting at Virginia Tech, a Tennessee woman walked into a kindergarten classroom, pulled out a toy gun, and fired it several times. As she was wrestled to the ground, she was heard to say, “You guys have no sense of humor.”

Here’s a picture of the woman.

Virginia Tech has announced that all the students slain Monday will receive posthumous degrees. You’ve heard of life-experience?” said an administrator. “Well, this is the opposite.”

A semi driver who flipped his truck Tuesday says it happened when he went looking for a couple of doughnuts he threw on the floor of his cab. Merv Bontrager of Milo, North Dakota, you are Today’s Stereotype.