Friday, June 1, 2007
Newsbreaks for Friday
Audio version is here.
In great news for joke-writers, Doctor Jack Kevorkian left prison today, eight years after being locked up for helping 130 people kill themselves. In a short statement, Kevorkian said that he found prison quite tolerable: “They even let me sleep in the gas chamber.”
“This wasn’t a treat, it was for his protection,” the warden said. “The other inmates got angry after they found him hanging around Death Row with an erection.”
All kidding aside, I think Kevorkian’s a genius businessman. Did you know he started out as a pathologist? All this suicide stuff was just vertical integration.
He is moving back to the Detroit area, which is a good idea, too. Let the city do your marketing.
The terms of Kevorkian’s parole say that he cannot treat anyone who is older than 62 or disabled. “Oh well,” Kevorkian said. “There’s always Morrissey concerts.”
And this is me, getting my hack on for Friday, June 1, 2007…
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Hey Mike, I am writing a new book called Cavorting with Kevorkian a biography as it were, soon to be a major motion picture. But since it will be filmed by Disney Studios I had to leave the erection bit out as it is intended as a family film, you know, Disney after all. Actually I was going to entitle my piece Hanging with Kevorkian but again Disney would not go for it so they changed the title to something more upbeat. The book has been quite difficult to write because I am unable to interview any of his past clients at the present time though I am hopeful of doing so sometime in the near future.
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