Newsbreaks for Wednesday

Audio version is here.

People have asked, “Why aren’t Newsbreaks more popular?” Up ‘til now my answer has been, people are obviously watching them in large groups in front of their computers. So if YouTube says “4 views,” the real viewership is somewhere around 50,000 people.

But now science has given me a whole new excuse. Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis have found that people’s understanding of jokes decreases as they get older. And as we know, most people who use the Internet are well over 65.

Participants in the study were given several panels of a cartoon strip, then asked to pick the funniest ending. Younger adults did 14% better than older ones, and both groups totally destroyed the woman who draws “Cathy.”

“We’ve solved a pair of the world’s great mysteries,” one researcher said. “Why strips like ‘B.C.’ and ‘Beetle Bailey’ have sucked for decades…and why newspaper editors keep running them.”

So what appeared to be bad taste is actually degenerating brains.

The scientists tested two groups: adults over 65, and a bunch of students from the University. Their recommendation is simple: “Old people should smoke more pot. That makes EVERYTHING funny.”