Friend and fellow Record alum Matt Fogel directed the following--who will be the millionth person to see it?...Could it be YOU?
And don't miss this priceless review.
Barry Trotter (Book 1)
The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...Freshman
Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...Sophomore
Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...Coming Soon!
All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.Monday, August 6, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
Newsbreaks 8.3.07 (The Duggars)
For best viewing, allow the video to load completely. Audio version is here.
A couple in Arkansas have just had their 17th child. Someone get these people TiVo.
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggars have racked up ten boys and now seven girls. They’re white, of course, so this is just a fun news story, instead of say, a campaign issue.
Thirty minutes after giving birth, Michelle, aka the walking population bomb, was already talking about having another. “It went fast,” she said. Yeah, well, practice makes perfect.
All seventeen children have names that begin with “J”—that’s the kind of people we’re dealing with. They’re also—surprise!—home-schooled. I bet they’re all getting a splendid education. The Duggars have the same student-teacher ratio as the University of Arkansas. I’m not kidding. I looked it up.
At this point, Michelle’s been pregnant for over 25% of her life. And no, she’s never read any Margaret Atwood. They’ve also gone through 90,000 diapers. This landfill has been brought to you by the Duggars.
Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. But this isn’t raising a family. This is creating your own private army.
The couple, who has no other claim to fame—how could they, there’s no time—has been featured on the Discovery Channel. Unfortunately, not during “Shark Week.”
Anyway, I don’t think it’s a good idea to publicize them. If I were the Chinese, I’d be pissed.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Newsbreaks 8.2.07 (Penn and Chavez)
For best viewing, allow the video to load completely. Audio version is here.
Sean Penn has a new fan: Hugo Chavez. Apparently the two spoke on the phone recently, as Penn traveled through Venezuela. “I didn’t recognize him at first,” the actor said. “Somebody handed me the phone, then I heard this voice say, ‘Spicoli, this is Mr. Hand.’”
Chavez praised Penn for opposing the war in Iraq, as well as calling for the impeachment of President Bush. “It’s a fairly rare thing for me to pick up the phone,” Chavez said. “Usually I just leave comments on blogs.”
According to the Venezuelan state news service, Chavez goes by “Anonymous.” So, flame with caution.
Chavez called Penn “one of the greatest opponents to the Iraq invasion.” To the degree that’s true, it’s incredibly depressing. It’s like saying, “Our only hope to fight global warming is Laurie David.”
Over my lifetime I’ve watched this weird transformation: all our actors are frustrated politicians, and all our politicians are frustrated movie stars. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just frustrated.
The only other time this happened was during the Roman Empire, when Nero became an actor. We all know how that worked out. On the other hand, he did become the first person ever to receive the Thalberg award in advance.
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