Lotsa Text Test Post

Romance is in the air. Heart shaped candy boxes and bouquets of flowers offer up syrupy sentiments of love, sweet love. Alas, all too often come February 15 the Hallmark card is in the trash and we’re back to struggling with the ups and downs of our relationship with the significant other in our lives.
So just what is the answer to Cole Porter’s haunting lyric, “What is this thing called love?” To arrive at an answer it’s helpful to track the four stages of a relationship. By observing what we face as we travel the path of true love we can gain understanding of what it takes to overcome the barriers that often sabotage us along the way.

First there’s the falling in love stage, becoming infatuated with our idea of the other rather than the true identity that is the other person. Next comes the disillusionment; inevitable because our ideal is not based on reality but rather is a product of our own making. Many relationships end here, dissolved by failed attempts to hold on to the euphoria of the “in love” feeling.
The third stage – confrontation with reality - may be the most difficult, requiring us to go beyond flighty and ego-centered cloud nine feelings, willingly opening ourselves to consideration of the other person’s motives. To propel a relationship past this phase it takes unequivocal honesty and genuine listening skills to determine the existence of a shared reality and common cause. The effort is worth it because it leads to the final stage, true love, an appreciation of the other’s unique strengths, personality and character… a view of the person as he or she is, rather than as we idealized them initially. In essence we fall in love all over again, this time with the reality of who our partner is rather than the fantasy we had in the initial stage of the relationship.
If only it was as simple as one, two, three, four! In actuality it is no easy matter to understand what the barriers are within yourself, let alone understand your partner’s perspective. If you have built those walls, perhaps I can help you deconstruct them. Occasionally all of us need help to sustain loving relationships and powerful partnerships.
Happy Valentine’s Day.