"Dear President Bush:
I am writing you on the advice of my therapist, who says I have alot of unresolved feelings towards your country. I have my doubts, but I want to show Dr. Gulzar that I'm committed to our therapy.
Iran and America ought to work together to reduce international tensions. I propose a simple trade: if you promise not to invade Iran, I promise to wear a tie. Of course, the choice of tie will be Iran's alone.
Since Dr. Gulzar is always telling me to 'speak my truth,' I want to tell you something. The goal of Iran's nuclear program is not a bomb. It is to make a working replica of the time-traveling car from Back to the Future. Have you ever seen that movie? Not everyone knows this, but there are three of them. If you want, I can loan them to you, but you have to PROMISE to give them back.
To achieve this dream, Iran requires two things: nuclear power, and a DeLorean. Could you keep your eyes open? I'm working Craigslist, but so far nothing. I'm sure you agree, there's really no point in doing it, if it's not authentic.
Respectfully,
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
PS--Do you know how I can get in touch with Christopher Lloyd?"
Monday, May 8, 2006
We saw the letter!
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