Barry Trotter (Book 1)
The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...Freshman
Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...Sophomore
Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...Coming Soon!
All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
Newsbreaks for Monday
Click here for podcast (extra joke).
Today, the Iraqi cabinet approved draft legislation setting out that country will divide its vast oil wealth. Though the law still has to be ratified, it appears to have support among all of Iraq's major factions: the Shi'ites, the Sunnis, the Kurds, and Halliburton.
According to Iraq's new constitution, the law won't take effect until it is approved by the Iraqi Parliament, which is Bush's nickname for his pen.
UK officials say an 8-year-old British boy who weighs 218 pounds may be taken into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet. They call the boy "obese"--of course, in American English, we'd use the term "average."
I think that boy's been on every Southwest flight I've ever taken.
The FDA is admitting that a new two-shot vaccine for bird flu isn't very effective. Said a researcher, "It's hard enough just catching the birds once."
And finally, a sorority at DePauw is in the news after some girls were kicked out for not being thin or pretty enough. "Imagine that," said the bear in the woods. "Could you hand me some toilet paper?" "Right after I finish doing my rosary," said the Pope.
Today, the Iraqi cabinet approved draft legislation setting out that country will divide its vast oil wealth. Though the law still has to be ratified, it appears to have support among all of Iraq's major factions: the Shi'ites, the Sunnis, the Kurds, and Halliburton.
According to Iraq's new constitution, the law won't take effect until it is approved by the Iraqi Parliament, which is Bush's nickname for his pen.
UK officials say an 8-year-old British boy who weighs 218 pounds may be taken into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet. They call the boy "obese"--of course, in American English, we'd use the term "average."
I think that boy's been on every Southwest flight I've ever taken.
The FDA is admitting that a new two-shot vaccine for bird flu isn't very effective. Said a researcher, "It's hard enough just catching the birds once."
And finally, a sorority at DePauw is in the news after some girls were kicked out for not being thin or pretty enough. "Imagine that," said the bear in the woods. "Could you hand me some toilet paper?" "Right after I finish doing my rosary," said the Pope.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
