I'm not Jewish, though for about sixteen reasons I might as well be. Even so, I do appreciate a good Tom Lehrer song, especially when it applies to my life.
Barry Trotter (Book 1)
The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...Freshman
Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...Sophomore
Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...Coming Soon!
All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sherlock Holmes and the Underpants of Death
My esteemed colleague in parody Chris Wood has cobbled together six short stories featuring a fascinating new character completely of his own invention named "Sherlock Holmes." Apparently this Sherlock goes around solving crimes, aided by his pal, a Doctor Watson...along the way encountering many difficulties of a digestive and execratory-type nature.
If bathroom humor's your thing--and let's be honest, would you be reading this blog if it wasn't?--you should check it out. I think Chris has really got something with this Sherlock character. He'd better be careful though--we all know how my series about a boy who goes to wizard school turned out.
UPDATE: Incredible--literally five minutes after I finished this post, I saw an ad for a movie called "Sherlock Holmes" starring Robert Downey Jr. I can understand if the character's name was "Bob Smith" or something, but really: I have a hard time believing that they came up with it independently of Chris...It's really disgusting, the lengths some people will go to make a quick buck.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Black Labs: they only look dopey
I love dogs; they're really amazing creatures. And yet...I've had a couple of black labs in my life, and "smart" was never one of the words that sprang to mind. Charming, yes. Loyal, certainly. But also prone to eating garbage.
This article suggests I may need to reconsider. In fact, after reading all the things dogs can do, I'm beginning to suspect that the writer himself is a Labradoodle.
This article suggests I may need to reconsider. In fact, after reading all the things dogs can do, I'm beginning to suspect that the writer himself is a Labradoodle.
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