...showing us the limits of "Joe-mentum," Jon Schwarz and I mused on what other types of "mentum" are making their presences felt in this primary season.
Howard Dean: Early in the campaign, Garry Trudeau-mentum. But after his outburst in Iowa, definitely crow-mentum. Will h.m.o-mentum get him back in the race?
Al Sharpton: 'fro-mentum, naturally. The thing he has to watch out over: Jim-Crow-mentum.
John Edwards: A sort of golden-glow, golf pro-mentum, don't you think?
John Kerry: Thanks to his wife, lotsa-dough-in-escrow-mentum.
Wesley Clark: Kosovo-mentum. Perhaps he needs a shot of Garry Hart-style ho-mentum. It couldn't hurt.
Dennis Kucinich: More than a little Henry-David-Thoreau-mentum, hence low-mentum, but perhaps eventually a little Perot-mentum.
Gephardt had the E-I-E-I-O-mentum, and any farmer could've told him that gets you nowhere. It used to be automatic that Democrats would get the A.F.L.C.I.O-mentum, but that's no longer a given.
Will any Dem have what it takes to defeat Bush's formidable C.E.O/status-quo-mentum? Given the example of the last Democrat to run and win, the most important question of all may be this: who has the blow-mentum?
Barry Trotter (Book 1)
The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...Freshman
Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...Sophomore
Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...Coming Soon!
All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.Tuesday, February 3, 2004
A Failure of Intelligence...
Jon forwarded this column by Richard Cohen in The Washington Post. It's simple why Bush and his cronies have to go: too much power, too little intelligence.
Sunday, February 1, 2004
As I pour my lifeblood into Barry 3...
...pounding out, then often tearing up, page after page, I feel it is only fair to reward your patience with this funny piece written by my friend Ed Page: "The Natural History of the Moustache." I grew a moustache once, but it grew in calico, like a cat.
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