It's because I'm working on another book, which, if all goes well, will be inflicted sometime in October.
My editor Simon sent me this tremendously funny page. Look twice.
Also, last night Kate and I watched "Signs." Interesting, creepy. Reminded me of an excellent, even creepier non-fiction book my friend Courty Bryan wrote about alien abduction,Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind: UFOs, Alien Abduction and the Conference at M.I.T.. Back in the 1970s, Courty wrote "Friendly Fire," and rightly became known as one of America's premier investigative non-fiction writers. If you are at all interested in things exterrestrial, get this book. Intelligent, skeptical, excellently written. I had no interest whatever in the subject until I read it. I once asked Courty what he thought was going on and he said something like, "I used to think I knew, but now I'm not at all sure."
Barry Trotter (Book 1)
The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...Freshman
Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...Sophomore
Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...Coming Soon!
All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.Thursday, February 13, 2003
Thursday, February 6, 2003
Rosenbaum on Norman Mailer
Those of you not living in New York might not have seen this column on Norman Mailer. I found it very thought-provoking, especially the part where he talks about ear-fisting. (Just kidding.)
Kate on "Adaptation"...
Last night we saw the movie "Adaptation," and Kate got off a good line as the credits were rolling. "You know what I'd like to see?" "What?" I said. "No New Yorker writers were harmed in the making of this movie."
Also: my UK editor Simon forwarded me this email:
FOURTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
By Dave Barry
1) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2) If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3) There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4) People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5) You should not confuse your career with your life.
6) Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7) Never lick a steak knife.
8) The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9) You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10) You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11) There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12) The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13) A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.
14)Your REAL friends love you anyway.
15)Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic."
I love Dave Barry. He probably should write half as much as he does, and make it twice as deep, but shouldn't we all...
Also: my UK editor Simon forwarded me this email:
FOURTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
By Dave Barry
1) Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2) If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3) There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4) People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5) You should not confuse your career with your life.
6) Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7) Never lick a steak knife.
8) The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9) You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10) You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11) There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12) The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13) A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.
14)Your REAL friends love you anyway.
15)Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic."
I love Dave Barry. He probably should write half as much as he does, and make it twice as deep, but shouldn't we all...
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