Watch and be amused.
Barry Trotter (Book 1)
The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...Freshman
Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...Sophomore
Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...Coming Soon!
All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
Where am I these days?
I'm posting quite a bit over at Hey Dullblog, a group blog focused on The Beatles. You are encouraged to check it out.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Those of you determined to resist Obama-mania, or simply amused by the novel gender politicsl embodied in the latest Clinton candidacy, should check out these snappy Bill for First Gentleman items. The creator of the merch, Lee Tyler, says that "proceeds go towards the production of South African electro and funny comedy shorts." And who can't get behind that? Wallets open, forward march!
Sex, Lies, and Hollywood
Friend Dave Hanson has joined the Web-olution! (That seems just lame enough to be a word.) He's writing for a new site called Sex, Lies, and Hollywood, where browsers can satisfy their need for snarky gossip as quickly and efficiently as a deep-net trawler scours the oceans free of all life.
Seriously, there's a picture of Aretha Franklin that'll make you lose your appetite. Forever.
Seriously, there's a picture of Aretha Franklin that'll make you lose your appetite. Forever.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
I am part of a spiffy new group blog called "Hey Dullblog." It will cover all things Beatles, and I think you will love it. Come visit.
Some Random Thoughts
Random thought #1: I was as impressed as anybody during the regular season, and I was rooting for the Pats to win because the Giants bore the crap out me. But now that the Super Bowl is over, can we dispense with the idea that this year's Pats team was the best ever? If the Giants did that to them, what would the '85 Bears have done? The real question is, would Brady have been KILLED? You beat the Pats by running on their undersized defense, and pressuring Brady. That is precisely what the Bears could do. (BTW, I was going to link to a vicious, vicious hit by Wilber Marshall, but the NFL has taken it down. Punks.)
Random thought #2: In the last fifteen years, how I'd always planned to earn my living--stringing together amusing words--has been rendered almost worthless by the internet. With a practically limitless amount of funny writing now available at the click of a mouse, how will people like me--people with the ability and desire to make people laugh, but who aren't Will Ferrell--modify what they do to make money? This blog provides some interesting theories as to what will sell on the internet, and why.
Random thought #2: In the last fifteen years, how I'd always planned to earn my living--stringing together amusing words--has been rendered almost worthless by the internet. With a practically limitless amount of funny writing now available at the click of a mouse, how will people like me--people with the ability and desire to make people laugh, but who aren't Will Ferrell--modify what they do to make money? This blog provides some interesting theories as to what will sell on the internet, and why.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Playboy's party jokes, written by God
Overheard at College. Just read it, you won't be disappointed.
"Guy: I slept with a bear once.
Girl: In what way?
Prof: Was it a mistake?
Guy: Oh, it was definitely a mistake."
Sarah Lawrence College
My favorite so far:
Guy: Guess what? I’m coming out to my parents over Thanksgiving!
Girl: Yeah?
Guy: Yeah, and I’ve already picked out my outfit.
Yale University
Kate just called this site "Playboy's party jokes, written by God."
(BTW, speaking of Playboy's party jokes, I recently learned that the little cartoon girl in the stockings who capered around in-between all the jokes was called "the Femlin.")
"Guy: I slept with a bear once.
Girl: In what way?
Prof: Was it a mistake?
Guy: Oh, it was definitely a mistake."
Sarah Lawrence College
My favorite so far:
Guy: Guess what? I’m coming out to my parents over Thanksgiving!
Girl: Yeah?
Guy: Yeah, and I’ve already picked out my outfit.
Yale University
Kate just called this site "Playboy's party jokes, written by God."
(BTW, speaking of Playboy's party jokes, I recently learned that the little cartoon girl in the stockings who capered around in-between all the jokes was called "the Femlin.")
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