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Barry Trotter (Book 1)

The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...

Freshman

Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...

Sophomore

Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...

Coming Soon!

All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.
C'mon, do it! It'll be fun.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

A great play

Kate and I saw a wonderful play last weekend at the Trap Door theater here in Chicago, "Amerikafka," directed by our friend Kate Hendrickson. Here's the excellent, right-on-the-money review from the Sun Times:

"Kafka's worlds

June 30, 2005

BY HEDY WEISS Theater Critic

In 1912, Franz Kafka -- an insurance claims adjuster by day, a visionary modernist writer by night -- had a life-altering experience. He attended a performance by a traveling Yiddish theater troupe that had stopped in Prague, and he became friends with its young Polish-Jewish leader, the effusive and spirited actor-director Itzhak Lowy.

In that same year, Kafka, 29, would begin work on what he called his "American novel" -- a never fully completed book published posthumously as Amerika. A Dickensian tale, it follows the adventures of a 16-year-old boy who is packed off by his parents to the New World to avoid a paternity suit. The boy arrives in New York harbor to find the Statue of Liberty holding a sword rather than a torch, and he eventually ends up joining a traveling circus called the Nature Theatre of Oklahoma.

Kafka, it should be noted, never visited America.

It is out of all this -- and much, much more -- that playwright Ken Prestininzi has woven his alternately fierce and flamboyant fantasia "AmeriKafka," now in its Midwest premiere by Trap Door Theatre. A blend of the dreamy and nightmarish, the spiritual and profane, the heartbreaking and the soul-searching, the transcendent and the vulgar -- with some hilarious X-rated puppetry, too -- it is a theatrical piece that captures both the mystery and tragicomedy of Kafka's real and imaginary worlds.


When we first see the writer (played movingly by Tom Bateman, whose wide-eyed face and skeletal body create a haunting presence) he is literally naked -- a tortured soul, wracked by a bloody cough, by self-doubt and by problems with his father. He also is torn by the three powerful forces on Jewish life in the 20th century -- Zionism, assimilation and genocide. Of course he could not possibly have known about the Holocaust -- he died of tuberculosis in 1924, at the age of 40 -- though later readers would have the eerie sense he knew exactly what was to come. In fact, Kafka's three younger sisters (portrayed here by Betsy Zajko, Emily Litspeich and Tien Doman), as well as Lowy (Jason Powers, who captures the zany spirit of his character to perfection), would perish in the camps.

Watching Kafka's encounter with the wild, emotive Yiddish actors -- so different in spirit from his own repressed, uneasily assimilated self -- you begin to understand how liberating they were for him. And their energy remains as Kafka plunges into his imaginary voyage to America, writing up a storm as he weaves the picaresque story of his buoyant alter ego, Frankie K (played by the goofily elastic and altogether wonderful K.K. Dodds, a stringbean of a girl with a slender, boyish frame and a vaudevillian style irresistible in its plucky naivete).

Along the way we meet the women who both excite and frighten Kafka and Frankie K (they are played by Marzena Bukowska, Holly Thomas, Mary Jo Bolduc and the earthy yet angelic Nicole Cardano). We also get a glimpse of Kafka's friend, the life-loving Max Brod (John Gray), who will ultimately rescue (and publish) his work.

Director Kate Hendrickson has staged Prestininzi's challenging script with ingenuity and style -- with a marvelously simple yet ever-morphing set by Ewelina Dobiesz (expertly lit by Richard Norwood), character-defining costumes by Jana Anderson, a klezmer-infused score by Kevin O'Donnell and an array of stunning puppets by Sarah Bendix.

As is often the case at Trap Door, there is too much screaming and overacting at times. In fact, the show's weakest scene is the one that should be most magical and alluring -- when the Yiddish actors take to the stage. Yes, Yiddish theater could be broad, but it was not shrill; there was great art in it. Yet all is forgiven later, thanks to a scene in which Frankie K is taught an unforgettable lesson about the danger of throwing your past away."

The Chicago Tribune was equally enthusiastic.

If you're in Chicago, go see it!

Moving Hell...

From now until forever, Kate and I are in moving hell. Any scraps of time are going to produce a version of Barry 3 for the US (coming in August) and Blarnia/US (coming in September)...I'm also thinking about doing a skeleton key/annotation to Barry 1--I get a lot of questions like, "Why is there a Crowley Avenue in Hogsbleede?" Would an annotation site be a good idea? Opinions?

In the meantime, here's a blog you might like: http://www.chasecuts.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Happy Birthday to Me!

Thirty-six. That's kind of a blow, I don't mind telling you. On the other hand, I got tons of lovely books: a Peter de Vries novel, a biography of Del Close, a "gear"-looking book about Swinging London, and The Complete Beatles Recording Sessions. This last is an out-of-print, incredibly exhaustive chronicle of the Fabs in the studio (which will be essential if I ever do these Beatles podcasts I want to do--anybody know how I can do it without paying an arm and a leg?). And Kate outdid herself by gifting me with the coolest little camcorder, just in time for us to drive across the country! Get ready for a video journal, people. It'll be PG, at least.

(BTW--the site update is still in process. It's coming!)

Monday, June 13, 2005

Stray thoughts about music (as if you care)

So I'm burning all my cds, so I can sell the originals (yes, I'm crazy, but you already knew that). This is taking only slightly longer than World War II. During this process, several thoughts have flitted through my brain.

1) John Lee Hooker only recorded one song--over and over, with different titles--but it was a good song. You can't blame somebody for finding something that they like and sticking with it, especially if people keep paying you to do it.

2) The Beatles had no idea what made them so good. Or else they tried to fuck things up after 1970. John, Paul, George, and Ringo's solo stuff is so often profoundly irritating that there's no way they realized what they were doing when they broke up. Of course there are exceptions to this--All Things Must Pass, for example--but "Woman is the Nigger of the World"? CHRIST!
You know it ain't easy/You know how hard it can be
The way things are goin'/ I really hate this CD.

3) The highest form of using iTunes is removing all Yoko's songs from in-between John's. Apologies to any Yoko fans out there. I'm hard, but fair, and "Kiss Kiss Kiss" can induce hemorrhaging in rats.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Stuff on cats

Cat owners like myself will tell you that putting stuff on your cat while he/she is asleep is a neverending source of cheap fun.

A soda can fits perfect on Willa's head.

Thursday, June 9, 2005

You gotta see this photo

Barry Trotter: you'll laugh, you'll cry, it will become a part of you.

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

USC movie list

As some of you know, my wife's about to go to grad school at USC for Film/TV. Last night she received a list of the movies they expect incoming students to have seen. I have a mania for such stuff--my dream is to create a library containing only the BEST books/comic books/movies. In case you shared this love/sickness, I thought I'd post their list. Anybody out there who's seen them all?

MOVIES:
A Hard Day's Night
African Queen
Alice in the Cities
Alien
All About Eve
Amadeus
American Friend, The
American Grafitti
Annie Hall
Apartment, The
Apocalype Now
Apu Trilogy, The
Band of Outsiders
Band Wagon, The
Barton Fink
Battle of Algiers
Being John Malkovich
Bicycle Thief, The
Big Lebowski, The
Black Orpheus
Blade Runner
Blow-Up
Blue
Blue Velvet
Bob le Flambeur
Bonnie and Clyde
Boyz 'n the Hood
Breathless
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Carrie
Casablanca
Children of Paradise (Les Enfants du Paradis)
Chinatown
Cinema Paradiso
Citizen Kane
Clueless
Coal Miner's Daughter
Contempt
Conversation, The
Cool Hand Luke
Crimes And Misdemeanors
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Deep End, The
Dekalog
Dersu Uzala
Diner
Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, The
D.O.A. (1950)
Do The Right Thing
Dog Day Afternoon
Donnie Darko
Double Indemnity
Dr. Strangelove
Eat, Drink, Man, Woman
8 1/2
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Exorcist, The
Fallen Idol, The
Fight Club
Fish Called Wanda, A
Five Easy Pieces
Force of Evil
Godfather, The (I & II)
Gone With the Wind
Graduate, The
Grand Illusion
High and Low
High Noon
House of Sand and Fog
It Happened One Night
Jaws
Jules and Jim
King of Marvin Gardens, The
Kramer Vs. Kramer
La Jetée
La Strada
Lady Eve, The
Last Tango in Paris
L'Avventura
Lawrence of Arabia
Le Boucher
Le Samouraï
Letter from an Unknown Woman
Like Water for Chocolate
Man for All Seasons, A
Matrix, The
M*A*S*H
Memento
Midnight Cowboy
Miller's Crossing
Mother and the Whore, The
Morocco
Mulholland Drive
Nashville
Network
Night Moves
Ninotchka
Notorious
On the Waterfront
Once Upon a Time in the West
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Out of the Past
Paths of Glory
Patton
Point Blank
Producers, The
Pulp Fiction
Raging Bull
Ran
Rashomon
Rear Window
Red
Red Balloon, The
Repo Man
Rules of the Game
Safe
Searchers, The
Seven Samurai
Seventh Seal, The
Shanghai Express
Shock Corridor
Shoot the Piano Player
Silence of the Lambs
Stagecoach
Star is Born, A (1937)
Star Wars
Stranger Than Paradise
Sullivan's Travels
Sunset Boulevard
Talk to Her
Thelma and Louise
Third Man, The
Tin Drum, The
Touch of Evil
Traffic
Trouble in Paradise
2001 - A Space Odyssey
Umbrellas of Cherbourg, The
Unbearable Lightness of Being, The
Underworld U.S.A.
Unforgiven
Verdict, The
Vertigo
White
Wild Strawberries
Wizard of Oz, The
Written on the Wind
Woman in the Dunes
You Can Count on Me

DOCUMENTARIES:
Sorrow and the Pity, The
Harlan Country, USA
Dogtown and Z Boys
My Architect
Triumph of the Will
Hoop Dreams
Roger and Me
Super Size Me
Grey Gardens
Gimme Shelter
Crumb
Spellbound
Capturing the Friedmans
Riding Giants
The War Room
Don't Look Back
Brother's Keeper
What the Bleep do we know?
The Thin Blue Line
Fast, Cheap and Out of Control
The Kid Stays in the Picture
Thelonious Monk: Straight No Chaser
Control Room
The Celluloid Closet
Sans Soleil
Poto and Cabengo

TV [available to Rent]:
Six Feet Under
The Sopranos
Sex and the City
Freaks and Geeks
All in the Family
MASH
Seinfeld
24
Arrested Development
Gilmore Girls
Good Times
The Wonder Years
The Shield
The Wire
The Office

Fascinating, huh? I'm no slouch when it comes to the foreign film or difficult documentary, yet I was amazed at how many of the movies I had never heard of. Guess I know what Kate and I will be doing while we pack...