Something Ketchuppy, eh?

While I was shopping today I noticed a contest Heinz ketchup is running. The back of the bottle reads, "Sometimes our label gets tired of saying 'Tomato Ketchup' all the time." [That's between you and the FDA, chum. Leave us out of it.] "So it will make a joke about french fries or have some fun at the expense of mustard. Now it wants your ideas. Just come up with something funny to say on a Heinz Tomato Ketchup squeeze bottle. It can be whatever you want so long as it has something to do with Heinz Tomato Ketchup, isn't too long (8 words or less, please) is in English and is funny. The best ones will go on our prestigious front label."



Well, I'm sure you'll agree that when it comes to prestige, nobody outdoes www.mikegerber.com. So I'm running my own counter-contest. Send in your entries before 10/31/02, and I'll post the funniest ones. The best one will receive a signed copy of the Japanese edition of Barry Trotter, or its cash equivalent.



Here's a few to start you off:

1) Now with real blood.

2) Covering the taste of inedible shit since 1869.

3) Sure, you can put me on hotdogs. Pussy.

4) Cures Colo-Rectal Cancer! (Not FDA-approved.)

5) Insert irritating "Goldmember" tie-in here.

6) Hunt's blows.

7) Ask how much we saved on copywriters.