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Barry Trotter (Book 1)

The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...

Freshman

Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...

Sophomore

Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...

Coming Soon!

All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.
C'mon, do it! It'll be fun.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Bit from Letterman (1982)

Dennis Perrin forwarded me this great bit from the early days of Letterman. Dennis sez, "Starting at the 45 second mark, you'll see Letterman writers Max Pross, Tom Gammill, George Meyer (in the Dallas Cowboys shirt, sporting an Amish beard), and then Andy Breckman, in the glasses and secular beard. And at 1:31, that's head writer Merrill Markoe."


Friday, May 22, 2009

The best pizza in the US?

GQ sent somebody around looking for it. Though I might trust their judgment a little more on matters of hair gel viscosity or length of beard stubble, both Sally's and Pepe's did make the list, which suggests it's at least creditable. Notable omission: LA's Pizzeria Mozza, which my wife swears by.

Friday, May 8, 2009

All Your Base Are Belong to Us

I clicked on this expecting nothing, but I enjoyed it. As Samuel Johnson said, "If you're tired of mindless internet memes, you're tired of life."