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Barry Trotter (Book 1)

The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...

Freshman

Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...

Sophomore

Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...

Coming Soon!

All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.
C'mon, do it! It'll be fun.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

"I AM Woody Guthrie!"


Last Wednesday, I witnessed David Carradine's public implosion at my home-away-from-home, the Aero Theater here in Santa Monica. (Favorite bit: Carradine declaring "I am Woody Guthrie!" and an irate audience member shouting back "No, you're not!"). My pesky Midwestern politeness prevented me from blogging about it--though not from performing it for my wife when I got home. Luckily Hollywood Elsewhere has a full report. To be frank, it was quite harrowing to watch someone so clearly out of control. And it was a double shame, because it followed Carradine's superb performance as Woody Guthrie in the Hal Ashby film Bound for Glory.

Friday, March 6, 2009

TALF = "Take another loss, f&$#ers"

For that line alone, I had to post this rant from Wallstreetpro. NSFW, and I laughed and laughed. Reminded me fondly of some relatives of mine. Go git'm!