Strong words, I know, but after seeing this video clip of him insulting and dismissing lefty critic Eric Alterman on his show, I feel the verdict is in.
For those of you not willing or able to load the video, here's a summary: Alterman says the Bush Administration doesn't have any regard for the truth, only political expedience. Miller doesn't argue this point, but makes fun of Alterman's supposedly laconic manner. Instead of debating the Adminstration's truthfulness, or redirecting the segment towards whatever issue he wants Alterman to speak about, Miller simply gives up and lets Alterman talk. After Alterman delivers a rational, even-handed opinion about the relative costs and benefits of invading Iraq, Miller ends the segment. There's no debate here--only Miller trying to pretend that whatever Alterman is saying is beneath comment, not worth the breath. That's strange behavior for a political satirist--to simply not argue--but it makes perfect sense for an airheaded goofball chasing some greed-fueled dream of repositioning himself as the Michael Moore of the Right.
Miller's schtick has always been to appear brainy using flippant references to (supposedly) arcane things. (Those things are only really arcane in the world of TV.) But as anybody who's written for a comedian can tell you, that doesn't mean that Dennis Miller is very smart. Maybe he is, but he certainly didn't show it. And perhaps there's a logical argument to be made against what Alterman was saying; I'd like to hear it. But Dennis Miller couldn't make it, and when he couldn't make it, reverted to his default personality--a completely unearned sense of superiority. It was all very unflattering, and I'm sure he ripped his producers a new one for not vetting Alterman enough and getting the writers to provide him with the appropriate pluto-populist bon mots. What a freaky, plastic guy. He should stop taking himself so seriously and go do something like Weekend Update.
Barry Trotter (Book 1)
The Hogwash School for Wizards was the most famous school in the wizarding world, and Barry Trotter was its most famous student. His mere presence made sure that every year twenty candidates applied for every open spot, no matter how rapacious Hogwash's tuition became. As a result, Barry and the school had come to an unspoken agreement: regardless of his grades, Barry could remain at Hogwash for as long as he wished. He had just begun his eleventh year...Freshman
Sleepy with boredom and gassy from lunch, Hart Fox sat in the hard plastic chair outside his dean's office. A kid walked in the door, pink detention slip in hand, bobbing his head a little so that the purple spikes of his mohawk didn't get bent on the transom. He slumped down next to Hart. Hart nodded--he remembered tis joker from sophomore American History, constantly arguing in favor of anarcho-syndicalism. Was his name Henry?...Sophomore
Arcing lazily through the air, the Frisbee smacked against the window. “Ooo-oo!” a chiseled and shirtless boy teased as it wobbleplummeted to the ground. “Sarah's in troub-le!”The beauty-boy was righter than he knew: Of all the windows on campus to hit, this one was the worst. It belonged to Stutts’ Professor of Clandestine Affairs, Glenbard North, who had destroyed more students than there were blades of grass on the freshly resodded Old Quad below...Coming Soon!
All you really gotta know is, I'm writing new things constantly and the more I write, the better my books get. So if you've read my earlier work--and millions of you have--we should keep in touch. This fall, at least one and maybe two new books will be available: a Dickens parody AND a comic mystery loosely based on The Beatles. Drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com, and I'll be sure to let you know release dates, special deals, etc.Thursday, March 18, 2004
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
School loans, Spalding Gray, and Skull and Bones
As I burst a blood vessel trying to finish Barry Trotter and the Dead Horse, I thought I'd pass along a few interesting links. The first is a neat essay about meeting Spalding Gray.
The next is Generation Debt, the Voice's cover story on how rapacious tuition, dwindling school loans, unprincipled credit card companies, expensive health insurance, and under- (or un-)paid jobs to break into many industries (like, say, publishing) combine to heave young Americans into Debt Hell. I could relate, and perhaps you will, too; I spent my 20s paying what the author calls "The Ambition Tax," and were it not for the blessing of Barry Trotter, would surely be staring down the barrel of a punishing, gray life of debt right now.
Finally, in The New York Observer, Ron Rosenbaum is calling for Bush and Kerry to resign from the Yale undergraduate society Skull and Bones. It's a nice thought.
The next is Generation Debt, the Voice's cover story on how rapacious tuition, dwindling school loans, unprincipled credit card companies, expensive health insurance, and under- (or un-)paid jobs to break into many industries (like, say, publishing) combine to heave young Americans into Debt Hell. I could relate, and perhaps you will, too; I spent my 20s paying what the author calls "The Ambition Tax," and were it not for the blessing of Barry Trotter, would surely be staring down the barrel of a punishing, gray life of debt right now.
Finally, in The New York Observer, Ron Rosenbaum is calling for Bush and Kerry to resign from the Yale undergraduate society Skull and Bones. It's a nice thought.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Oh, I love book publishing...
Today, The New York Times ran an article regarding the momentary brown-out of Martin Amis. I was shocked by the following sentence: "According to Nielsen BookScan, through the first week in March [Amis' latest novel] "Yellow Dog" has sold 10,200 copies in the United States..."
Okay, in a country of 350 million people, that merits a wow. I like Martin Amis, he's a fine writer, and anyway, it's not fair to single him out. Seven out of every ten books either lose money or just break even. But given how famous Amis is, it's an interesting fact. Here's another: I recently read that David Denby's American Sucker (once again, according to BookScan, which reports about 60-70% of total outlets) had sold less than 6,000 copies.
Yes, American Sucker--that massively hyped mea culpa reviewed nearly everywhere. For a book to have gotten publicity--the major hurdle for ANY book--in such profusion, and still sold so poorly brought back a lot of great memories for me. A lot of memories of really wonderful, invigorating, intellectually rigorous meetings with "editors" in the American book publishing "business." Forgive me, folks--my axe is out, and I'm gonna grind it.
I like David Denby's reviews in The New Yorker, but who thought that a book like American Sucker would go down in this economy? It doesn't take a marketing genius to realize that the story of an already well-off Manhattanite's self-inflicted financial wound won't sell in a country where the median income is what, $45,000? All it takes it some knowledge of the world outside of Manhattan. Or, if that's too much to ask, just talk to the guy behind the counter at Starbucks.
Publishing isn't easy, but it isn't rocket science, either. People like Amis and Denby are responsible for the quality of their books, as all writers are. But some portion of their success in the marketplace--everything from topic, to packaging, to publicity--is being determined by an obviously out-of-touch American book industry. First-hand knowledge available upon request.
Coincidentally, there's a related article in USA Today, which is celebrating ten years of printing its own bestseller list.
This article says, in bold type, "Publishers don't know why some books sell." In my experience, publishers don't know why ANY books sell. Or don't sell. Or, most importantly, how to make them sell. Sure, people are hard to predict--but other industries, from shaving cream to cars, seem to work harder at it, and do a lot better at it. And that's because (in my opinion) many publishing people are incredible snobs. In a snob's world, you're either bowing and scraping to curry favor with your betters, or deigning to speak to your lessers. What you're NOT doing is listening to the average person--precisely because he/she is average. Even if that average person is your ultimate customer.
I spent ten years crawling the corridors of the NYC book and magazine world, and many of the people I met (though obviously not all) thought they were geniuses compared to the hopeless schmoes that bought their books or magazines. They work in big, impressive buildings in NYC, and you don't. They got degrees from fancy-schmancy colleges, and you didn't. They know famous people, and you couldn't even speak to them without stuttering. You--you're audience. You're nothing. Just buy whatever we tell you and shut up. If you don't like it, it's your fault for not being as smart as we are.
Let's contrast this with other media. Do I think that TV producers or movie studios want to have dinner with their audience? Probably not. But they DO understand that in popular culture, the audience has the power. In fact, it seems that TV producers and movie studios are actually getting better at giving audiences what they will pay money for. Certainly they invest massive amounts of time and money trying to find out. Books should too. Good writing and sales aren't mutually exclusive, and anybody who tells you different is simply trying to hide the fact that they predicted wrong. Nobody's perfect, but it's never the audience's fault.
But even if they're not any better at prediction--and I think they are--the TV and movie industries live in the real world; TV and movies have solved the distribution problem and the publicity problem, and books and magazines haven't. Their model makes money; the model for print really doesn't. And that's on the snobbishness of the American publishing business, not stupid readers or TV in every room or the mean old world. The US book business doesn't have the room for error that TV and movies do, but instead of being smart and innovative, they've put into place an insular, unassailable culture of failure. Suddenly Yellow Dog and American Sucker make a lot more sense.
The book publishing industry simply refuses to learn how to cultivate, expand, and satisfy their audience. And they do this in the supposed benefit of literature! "People like crappy books; if we gave the public what it wants, we'd publish nothing but trash." What could that be but snobbery?
If you're in the business of mass entertainment, and you think you can dictate to your audience--become popular by fiat--you're a snob, and an idiot besides. We're all serving the audience, not the other way around. Until book publishing recognizes this--as hard as it will be for all the Ivy Leaguers to swallow--books will continue to fade as a cultural force. I could care less about the careers of all the status-obsessed office-tower knuckleheads in NYC, but I do care about the printed word, and I resent that it's in the hands of people (mostly) neither humble or principled enough to attempt to lead mass-taste, nor smart enough to honestly and respectfully follow it. There's honor in both paths--albeit much less risk in the second--but the book business chooses to impotently wail and fail. I'll bring this back to my life: some things I write are judged funny, others are not; but whether I like it or not, the audience is always the boss.
Okay, in a country of 350 million people, that merits a wow. I like Martin Amis, he's a fine writer, and anyway, it's not fair to single him out. Seven out of every ten books either lose money or just break even. But given how famous Amis is, it's an interesting fact. Here's another: I recently read that David Denby's American Sucker (once again, according to BookScan, which reports about 60-70% of total outlets) had sold less than 6,000 copies.
Yes, American Sucker--that massively hyped mea culpa reviewed nearly everywhere. For a book to have gotten publicity--the major hurdle for ANY book--in such profusion, and still sold so poorly brought back a lot of great memories for me. A lot of memories of really wonderful, invigorating, intellectually rigorous meetings with "editors" in the American book publishing "business." Forgive me, folks--my axe is out, and I'm gonna grind it.
I like David Denby's reviews in The New Yorker, but who thought that a book like American Sucker would go down in this economy? It doesn't take a marketing genius to realize that the story of an already well-off Manhattanite's self-inflicted financial wound won't sell in a country where the median income is what, $45,000? All it takes it some knowledge of the world outside of Manhattan. Or, if that's too much to ask, just talk to the guy behind the counter at Starbucks.
Publishing isn't easy, but it isn't rocket science, either. People like Amis and Denby are responsible for the quality of their books, as all writers are. But some portion of their success in the marketplace--everything from topic, to packaging, to publicity--is being determined by an obviously out-of-touch American book industry. First-hand knowledge available upon request.
Coincidentally, there's a related article in USA Today, which is celebrating ten years of printing its own bestseller list.
This article says, in bold type, "Publishers don't know why some books sell." In my experience, publishers don't know why ANY books sell. Or don't sell. Or, most importantly, how to make them sell. Sure, people are hard to predict--but other industries, from shaving cream to cars, seem to work harder at it, and do a lot better at it. And that's because (in my opinion) many publishing people are incredible snobs. In a snob's world, you're either bowing and scraping to curry favor with your betters, or deigning to speak to your lessers. What you're NOT doing is listening to the average person--precisely because he/she is average. Even if that average person is your ultimate customer.
I spent ten years crawling the corridors of the NYC book and magazine world, and many of the people I met (though obviously not all) thought they were geniuses compared to the hopeless schmoes that bought their books or magazines. They work in big, impressive buildings in NYC, and you don't. They got degrees from fancy-schmancy colleges, and you didn't. They know famous people, and you couldn't even speak to them without stuttering. You--you're audience. You're nothing. Just buy whatever we tell you and shut up. If you don't like it, it's your fault for not being as smart as we are.
Let's contrast this with other media. Do I think that TV producers or movie studios want to have dinner with their audience? Probably not. But they DO understand that in popular culture, the audience has the power. In fact, it seems that TV producers and movie studios are actually getting better at giving audiences what they will pay money for. Certainly they invest massive amounts of time and money trying to find out. Books should too. Good writing and sales aren't mutually exclusive, and anybody who tells you different is simply trying to hide the fact that they predicted wrong. Nobody's perfect, but it's never the audience's fault.
But even if they're not any better at prediction--and I think they are--the TV and movie industries live in the real world; TV and movies have solved the distribution problem and the publicity problem, and books and magazines haven't. Their model makes money; the model for print really doesn't. And that's on the snobbishness of the American publishing business, not stupid readers or TV in every room or the mean old world. The US book business doesn't have the room for error that TV and movies do, but instead of being smart and innovative, they've put into place an insular, unassailable culture of failure. Suddenly Yellow Dog and American Sucker make a lot more sense.
The book publishing industry simply refuses to learn how to cultivate, expand, and satisfy their audience. And they do this in the supposed benefit of literature! "People like crappy books; if we gave the public what it wants, we'd publish nothing but trash." What could that be but snobbery?
If you're in the business of mass entertainment, and you think you can dictate to your audience--become popular by fiat--you're a snob, and an idiot besides. We're all serving the audience, not the other way around. Until book publishing recognizes this--as hard as it will be for all the Ivy Leaguers to swallow--books will continue to fade as a cultural force. I could care less about the careers of all the status-obsessed office-tower knuckleheads in NYC, but I do care about the printed word, and I resent that it's in the hands of people (mostly) neither humble or principled enough to attempt to lead mass-taste, nor smart enough to honestly and respectfully follow it. There's honor in both paths--albeit much less risk in the second--but the book business chooses to impotently wail and fail. I'll bring this back to my life: some things I write are judged funny, others are not; but whether I like it or not, the audience is always the boss.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Why not Nader? Here's why not
Found this interesting column by Nicholas Hoffmann in the New York Observer.
Suffice to say, if Bush gets re-elected, I may pull a ninja and flip out.
Suffice to say, if Bush gets re-elected, I may pull a ninja and flip out.
Tuesday, March 2, 2004
The story of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore...
...is going to be the subject of a drama on Channel Four, according to this article. I wonder if I can get a friend in the UK to tape it for me?...
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